Quote of the Day (2012-11-30)

Principal Gibbons: This is public school. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a bonus.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2012-11-29)

She turned me into a newt! I got better.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-11-28)

Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.

Westley: You're that smart?

Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?

Westley: Yes.

Vizzini: Morons.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2012-11-27)

Niles: I'll have a decaf latte, and please be sure to use skim milk.

Frasier: I'll have the same.

Eric: Got it.

[to barista]

Eric: Two Gutless Wonders!

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2012-11-26)

PILATE

Now ... anyone else feel like a little giggle when I mention my fwend ...

(He goes right up to one of the GUARDS.)

Biggus ... Dickus. He has a wife you know.

(The GUARDS tense up.)

Called Incontinentia.

(The GUARDS relax.)

Incontinentia Buttocks!

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2012-11-25)

FATHER: One day, lad, all this will be yours!

HERBERT: What, the curtains?

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-11-24)

Joey Naylor (to his father): Please don't ruin my childhood.

Source: Thank You For Smoking

Quote of the Day (2012-11-23)

"Amazing! I drive them to lesbianism, and he brings 'em back!"

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2012-11-22)

Jim Hacker: "Obviously the Home Secretary will have to resign."

Sir Humphrey: "Alas, yes."

Jim Hacker: "What on earth will happen to him?"

Sir Humphrey: "Well, I gather he was as drunk as a lord, so after a discrete interval they will probably make him one."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-11-21)

Zathras: Zathras not of this time. You take, Zathras die. You leave, Zathras die. Either way, it is bad for Zathras.

Source: Babylon 5

Quote of the Day (2012-11-20)

Derek Zoolander: I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

Source: Zoolander

Quote of the Day (2012-11-18)

Must be a king. He hasn't got s*** all over him.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-11-11)

Reverend Lovejoy: This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants, designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first, let's pass the collection plate.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2012-11-10)

Narrator: Do you want me to deprioritize my current reports until you advise me of a status upgrade?

Richard Chesler: Yes. Make these your primary action items.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2012-11-09)

Lester Burnham: [narrating] That's my wife, Carolyn. See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident.

Source: American Beauty

Quote of the Day (2012-11-08)

We're knights of the round table

We dance whene'er we're able

We do routines and chorus scenes

With footwork impeccable.

We dine well here in Camelot

We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.



We're knights of the Round Table

Our shows are formidable

But many times

We're given rhymes

That are quite unsingable

We're opera mad in Camelot

We sing from the diaphragm a lot.



In war we're tough and able.

Quite indefatigable

Between our quests

We sequin vests

And impersonate Clark Gable

It's a busy life in Camelot.



I have to push the pram a lot.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-11-07)

Dot: Now you take that diaper off your head and you put it back on your sister!

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2012-11-06)

Dot: I'm sure you have the life insurance squared away?

Ed McDonnough: Have we done that honey? We gotta do that honey!

Dot: You gotta do that HI! Ed's got her hands full with this little angel.

H.I.: Yes, ma'am.

Dot: What would Ed and little angel do if a truck came along and splattered your brains all over the interstate?

Ed McDonnough: Yeah honey! What if you get run over?

Dot: Or carried off by a twister?

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2012-11-05)

Bernard Woolley: "May I just clarify this? You think the National Theatre thinks that you are bluffing and the National Theatre thinks that you think that they are bluffing, whereas your bluff is to make the National Theatre think that you are bluffing when you are not bluffing, or if you are bluffing, your bluff is to make them think you are not bluffing. And their bluff must be that they're bluffing, because if they're not bluffing they're not bluffing.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-11-04)

Olive Penderghast: Due to his "condition," Micah was sent on an extended visit to his grandparents' in Palatka, Florida. And if there's one thing worse than chlamydia, it's Florida.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2012-11-03)

Mrs. Richards: I've booked a room with a bath and a sea view for three nights. I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation, so please make sure I have it.

Manuel: Qué?

Mrs. Richards: What?

Manuel: Qué?

Mrs. Richards: K?

Manuel: Sí.

Mrs. Richards: KC? KC? What are you trying to say?

Manuel: No, no no no. Qué?, "what."

Mrs. Richards: K. Watt?

Manuel: Sí: qué?, "what."

Mrs. Richards: C.K. Watt?

Manuel: Yes.

Mrs. Richards: Who is this C.K. Watt?

Manuel: Qué??

Mrs. Richards: Is he the manager?

Manuel: Oh, Manajer.

Mrs. Richards: He is.

Manuel: Ah, Mr. Fawlty.

Mrs. Richards: Oh, what are you talking about, you silly little man?



[to Polly]



Mrs. Richards: Girl, I start to ask this man about my room, and he tells me the manager is a Mr. Watt, aged forty.

Manuel: No, no no. "Fawwl-ty."

Mrs. Richards: Faulty? What's wrong with him?

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2012-11-02)

Jim Hacker: "Bernard, how did Sir Humphrey know I was with Dr. Cartwright?"

Bernard Woolley: "God moves in a mysterious way."

Jim Hacker: "Let me make one thing perfectly clear: Humphrey is not God, okay."

Bernard Woolley: "Will you tell him or shall I?"

Jim Hacker: "Tell me how he knew where I was."

Bernard Woolley: "Well, confidentially Minister, everything you tell me is in complete confidence, so equally, and I am sure you appreciate this, and by appreciate I don't actually mean appreciate, I mean understand, that everything Sir Humphrey tells me is also in complete confidence, as indeed everything I tell you is in complete confidence, and for that matter everything I tell Sir Humphrey is in complete confidence."

Jim Hacker: "So?"

Bernard Woolley: "So in complete confidence, I am confident that you understand that for me to keep Sir Humphrey's confidence and your confidence, means that conversations between him and me must be completely confidential, as confidential in fact as conversations between you and me are completely confidential."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-11-01)

Jim Hacker: "Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers:

- The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country;

- The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;

- The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;

- The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country;

- The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;

- The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country;

- And the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is."

Sir Humphrey: "Prime Minister, what about the people who read the Sun?"

Bernard Woolley: "Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister